The Girl without Breasts.
I chose the craziest title from my
selection of titles to ensure this message is read. The message is not only
going to talk about the story of the girl without breasts, but also how that
affects us in our pursuit to success and journey to our dreams.
Last night I had a long
conversation with a friend of mine, we’ve known each other for 5 years, but
have had the opportunity to meet just once, the rest of our relationship or
friendship have blossomed through constant productive calls. When I picked up
the call, I was hit with an image of a depressed man, I couldn’t help it, it
was all over his voice, he sounded not like somebody had died, but like several
people had, and that was a shocker to me because he’s only ever sounded full of
life and philosophical except for last night, so of course I was worried,
worried enough to sit up straight on my bed, and pried, and I don’t pry, but I
did that night.
“What is wrong with you” I had
“I don’t know Princess (He always
calls me Princess), I feel like the world is crowding me” he said
That is never a good sign, when
you start feeling the world crowding you, or you start feeling like you need
space from people, that nobody understands you, that the world is against you,
that is the point where you need to stop and jerk yourself up from whatever
position you’re currently drooling in.
“Why do you feel that way? It is
unlike you to be this way”
“You won’t understand Princess,
it’s just… Anyway, you won’t understand”
That was another Red Alert for me,
I knew he was about to shut me out, he was about to tell me I’m a woman so I
wouldn’t understand the struggle he’s in as a man, that my level of pain cannot
be compared to his, that I have it easy because society makes it easy for me as
a woman, that I should just let it go: but I wasn’t having any of that, not
tonight, not ever, not with one of my consistent friends, so I told him.
“You probably feel like shit at
the moment, and I’m sure if I were standing before you, you wouldn’t be able to
look me in the eye”
I couldn’t see him, but I was sure from the
sound he unintentionally made, that my words had snapped him out; I didn’t
care, I had to something to say, and I was going to let it out, so I continued.
“Have you heard of the girl
without breasts?” I didn’t wait for an answer; I just continued “I’m going to
tell you briefly about her”.
“Her name is Sveta Ugolyok, she’s a Russian teenager who got involved in a very
severe burn at the age of four, she was home alone when the fire broke out and
caught her dress and she burned till she was rescued and taken to the hospital
where she stayed and underwent several operations for 6months. She tried
committing suicide twice, the second time she had tried hanging herself, her
mother deserted her or more like tried to kill her, she reported her and was
taken to an orphanage where she later ran away from and went to Moscow, which
changed her perspective about life, today she’s a model who uses her difference
to affect the world.”
I’m not telling you about her for
you to get interested in body positivism, or shun body shaming, I’m telling you
this because everything stems from the mind: when you learn the difficult
aspect of controlling the mind, then you become a master of yourself, it is then
you take control of your life and you learn to not cower no matter what life
throws at you, then and then alone would you learn to tell your story.
Do you know how people get
stories: what makes a person entitled to telling their story and what makes people
want to listen, or just what makes people listen? I asked, he didn’t answer, so
“it’s because these people
succeeded, or had made the conscious decision of not wallowing in their pain
and struggle, because they chose to get up and do something with that life they
have other than allowing it eat them up every day and night, they didn’t allow
their mind talk them into it’s world of impossibilities, even if it did, they
shut it down and struggled through it’s screams to get to where they need and
want to be.”
“How do I meet with this girl you
talked about” he asked
I was elated he wanted to do more
with himself by meeting the lady in question, instead of settling on making
more excuses, which will just never end.
“I’ll share you the name of her
social media page” I told him “You can go through it and see for yourself,
since she’s very expressive about her ordeal.”
“Thank you Princess” I expected
him to say that,
“You are not feeling some kind of
way because you talked me out of this right; it wasn’t that big a deal you
“Ever the roughened dick”, I said,
laughing and rolling my eyes
That is just how things are for
us: he didn’t want me rubbing the fact that I was right all over his face, but
he was grateful and I knew he was, so I really had no need smearing it all over
his face either. It was enough for me that his arrogant self was back and the
rotten state he was in has been knocked out.
You can watch the video of Sveta Ugolyok above, where she talks on
her journey and her story, or read up about her on my previous blog post on
A parting note to us all: Whatever you feed your mind with becomes conspicuous. Remember, I said feed: Feeding is a constant configuration, you have to continue the progression till you get the result you need- might be positive or negative depending on the type and quality of food you give it; and as we all know “Practice makes perfect”: your repeated action determines your result on the flip side too, if you do not feed it, it’ll end up setting a pattern for you to follow, it’ll extract a pattern of comfortability that is not particularly workable from your previous stale constellation, for you to follow, which would only create an insipid consistent result.