There was a time I used to cry every night before going to bed.
Every time I get praised, instead of feeling good, I feel afraid and I cry.
Was it something I did out of a whim or did this praise come out of what is natural to me?
What if I fail?
What if I disappoint them?
What if I stop doing what they had praised me for?
What if finally I never get to be the shining light everyone once thought would shine forever.
What if I get to be the girl with so much potential but lives a pitiable reality in the long wrong.
There is this saying we all use “This life no balance” and it means, what you see might not be what is. What you want you just might not get. The reaction to an action of Mr. A might vary extensively from that of Mr. B. But most importantly, what that statement is saying is “there is no sequence to life”.
Hard work is very important but in the cases of most, it can be practically useless. Why?? Just take a look at the barrow pushers you see each day when you go to the markets, or take a look at the laborers who mold sands and cement for buildings, these guys are hard workers, but hard work here is practically useless.
Sense and smartness are important, but that too is also practically useless in the case of most. Why?? Take a look at the boys and girls into internet fraud business, in the long run, when nemesis or justice catches up with them, we understand how not important being smart is.
But Grace?? Grace cannot be equated to or compared with anything. It is something beyond our grasp and understanding as humans. It is not something we get out of merit but something we get out of mercy and love. It is undeserving, and unlike hard work and sense, it has its sequence, one so steady that nothing can faze it.
This article might have, for some, assumed a U-turn from where it began: from the human reality to the spiritual, and many may find it weak to somehow forgo being hardworking and smart for ” just” grace. In truth, that is not what this article is trying to rationalize, instead, it is saying; as much as you’re hardworking and smart, don’t forget to seek the grace of God, all you need do is seek and ask and it shall be given to you.
The human reality is muddled with so many ‘what ifs’, and so many uncertainties, so it is alright to feel uncertain about your path, but it is not alright to stop working and walking on your path, and with that grace, the one you had asked for and received, you will carry on that path of yours to your destination.
So each time you cry, remember in the next moment when you wipe your tears away that you do not walk alone, you are a carrier of grace and it is leading you somewhere.